


What If We Were Worthy?

by maderi



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Elijah Kamski appears, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 02:15:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17377664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maderi/pseuds/maderi
Summary: Connor has a malfunction to an emotion he's feeling. In desperation he reach out to Elijah Kamski for help to understand what is happening to him.Will he ever know the reason why Hank has started pushing him away?





	What If We Were Worthy?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Louise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Louise/gifts).



> Dbh events secret santa for fantasystoryteller (Twitter @louise_cipher).

Hank watched Connor walk into the precinct without a care in the world. The android held his head high, unaware of the hate that was directed his way. DPD had employed more androids since the revolution a few months ago, adding Connor’s ‘little brother’ to their ranks. 

The RK900 was supposed to be better and faster than Connor’s RK800 model, but thus far, the RK900, Nines as Reed had started calling him, respected Connor’s time in the DPD. He still did his best, worked like a dream beside Reed, to everyone’s surprise.

The RK series were made as deviant hunters, making the series hated among both androids and humans. Nines were excused as his awakening happened three weeks after the revolution ended, but Connor who’d been hunting deviants for months had not fared as well. 

Even though he himself had turned deviant in the end, other androids and humans didn’t see past the lives he had been responsible for taking. Connor, on the other hand, didn’t understand the danger he was in. 

Since the revolution ended, he’d been harassed. Connor moved into an apartment not too far from the DPD, but after only a week, he was asked to move because of the trouble he brought with him. 

People had been tagging nasty words on his door, had destroyed his mail, and in the span of that one week, he’d had a break in twice, the culprits destroying his furniture both times. 

In the end, Hank had practically ordered Connor to move in with him. If asked why Hank wouldn’t be able to respond. It had been a knee-jerk reaction, something his head had worked out all on its own, and without Hank’s blessing, his mouth had followed suit and ordered Connor in Fowler’s office. 

Sighing deeply, Hank rubbed his closed eyes as he leaned over his desk. This day, like every day since, would be exhausting. As Connor’s steps stopped beside his desk, Hank only leaned further over his desk, ignoring Connor’s presence. 

“Lieutenant, I brought you lunch.” Connor’s chipper voice penetrated Hank’s ears. 

Swearing to himself, Hank wanted to bark something in reply to the young android. Since they became partners before the revolution, Connor had taken it upon himself to make sure Hank ate healthier. It was Hank’s worst nightmare. 

“Lieutenant, are you in distress? I detect that your stress level is risi...” Connor started but was rudely interrupted by Hank’s loud gran. 

“Uuuugh not another salad, Connor.” Hank complains. 

“No, Hank. In fact, I got you a perfectly healthy burger.” Connor chirp from beside Hank’s desk, stiff feet moving just a tad bit closer. 

At that Hank looks up. This sounds too good to be true, and upon spotting the small blue and white container in Connor’s hands, Hank knew it to be true. What on earth had the kid brought to him this time? 

Taking the offered container, Hank opens the blue lid to look at the content inside. The most mouthwatering scent rises from the decorated burger inside the container, but Hank does a double take at the burger color. 

“What is it?” Hank asks, nose wrinkling in concern for his well being. 

“It’s a hamburger.” Connor chirps back, deep brown eyes sparkling with mischief. 

“It’s beige.” Hank complains. “What is it made of?”

“Chicken and vegetables. Markus helped me researched the net and we found this wonderful, tasty recipe for a healthy hamburger. Now....assembling the ingredients to the desired consistency was a bit of a challenge, but I think I got the hang of it.” Connor winks at him, the corner of his lips lifting in a smug smile. 

“Chicken and vegetables?” The deadpan sound of Hank’s voice is enough to catch Reed’s attention. 

“Oooh look at that, lover bot brought the old man his food.” Reed spits as he walks closer to have a look at what Connor brought him. “What’s it this time, bunny pellets?”

But when Reed got close enough to see what was in the container, his eyes widened for a second before a disgusted look crossed his face. 

“Looks disgusting.” He sneers, crossing his arms above his chest, as he leans on the desk. 

“Is that why your heartbeat elevated, Detective Reed?” Nine’s dry comment has the desired effect as Reed’s face goes red and he tries to splutter some explanation. 

Hank barks a laugh at Reed’s fuming, thankful for Nine’s ability to put the younger detective in place. It is the best entertainment he has. Snickering defiantly, Hank, feeling braver than he is, takes the burger up from its place inside the container and takes a big bite of it. To his dying day, he will deny it being to spite Reed. 

The chicken, bunny pellet burger is absolutely delicious. All the different flavors mix inside his mouth and combine to a taste that in his mind should be illegal. It is the best thing he has ever tasted in his life, but as his mind is about to skitter away with the deliciousness of it all, he suddenly remembers that he’s not supposed to like healthy food. 

“Connor, this is disgusting.” Hank comments as he put the burger back in its container. 

A second later, he wished he’d never said anything at all. The brilliant deep brown eyes clouds over with sadness, Connor’s normally chipper face, droops and Hank, Hank could just kick himself for hurting Connor like this. 

“That’s alright, Lieutenant. I will find something else tomorrow. Do you want me to bring you a coffee?” Connor braves through his obvious hurt at Hank’s dismissal, but before Hank is able to apologize, Connor has turned around towards the breakroom. 

“Nice going, dipshit.” Reed comments as he moves to go towards his desk. 

At that moment, Hank really felt like a dipshit. The disapproving stare that Nines gives him as he passes by Hank’s desk, make him feel even worse. The two androids could communicate without making a sound, so Connor had definitely said something to his ‘little brother’ as he left Hank’s side. 

This day would be even longer than Hank thought. The foot he’d shoved in his mouth at lunchtime, proceeded to go deeper as the day went on. By the time they were headed home, his foot had come out his ass to kick him. 

The drive had been silent, neither of them talking. Hank out of fear to dig his hole even deeper, and Connor because he didn’t know what to say to Hank. When they parked in the driveway, Connor left the car before Hank was able to unfasten his seatbelt. 

The digital door opener Hank had installed for Connor, let said android inside before Hank was out of the car, the door closing carefully behind Connor. When Hank finally entered the house, after fiddling with finding the right key, Connor is nowhere to be seen. 

Plopping down in the couch, Hank put his elbows on his knees and sighs deeply. He always did this to Connor. In the beginning, it had been annoying to have the kid hanging above him every time he ate. Connor would comment on how unhealthy the food was and Hank would growl something in reply. 

But as their bond strengthened, Connor’s friendship was the only thing keeping Hank alive. He came to care for the young android, his repeated kindness towards Hank making him the most important person in Hank’s life. 

His life had been one long game of Russian roulette until Connor came along. Somehow, the quirky young android had annoyed his way under Hank’s skin, taking up permanent residence there. What made matters worse, he’d found his way to Hank’s dusty heart. 

Sumo came waddling over to him, stopping to sit down and lay his big fluffy head in his lap. Hank sighed once more as he looked down at him. Connor loved Sumo so much, loved how soft his fur was or the way his wet nose tickled Connor’s neck whenever they hugged. 

“Seem like I’ve been doing that a lost the last few months, eh buddy?” Hank asked as he smushed Sumo’s face, before stretching it out again. 

The dog only lolled his tongue out as he stared at Hank with deep, understanding brown eyes. ‘Goddamn that dog’, Hank thought as Sumo’s message rang loud and clear. 

“He’ll never go for an old fart like me, buddy.” Hank mumbles as he looks down on his extended belly.

He used to be a tightly muscled man when he was younger, he’d been healthy and a walking wet dream for many people. But after Cole, he’d given up on life entirely. His drinking worsened, his cooking died, as Daniel’s and take out became his constant companions. 

Thinking back on it all made him cringe. He had a lot to be grateful for when it came to Connor. In many ways, he owed the kid his life. Sighing deeply once more, he laid back on the couch, head tipping back to stare at the ceiling. He needed to do something about this, and soon. The direction this was taking was not good. 

“Go fetch me a beer, Sumo.” Hank mumbles to no one in particular like he used to do before Connor. 

At that though, he stopped. Before Connor. The thought gave him a warm feeling. His life before and after meeting Connor was a complete transformation. He still had days where he struggled, still had days that were blacker than death, but Connor was always there by his side. 

Closing his eyes in defeat, Hank didn’t know where he’d be without Connor’s guidance. That someone cared enough to stand by him until he learned to walk on his own feet again, was exceptional. Not many people did that. 

Connor liked him for who he was, grime and everything. He’d never once asked Hank to change for him. In Connor’s words, ‘he needed to change for himself’ and he was of course right. Hank just didn’t know if Connor would still be there when he was fixed enough to stand on his own two feet.

*  
In distress Connor messaged Kamski. He didn’t know what this feeling was. He’d felt fear, anger, and pride before, but this was something entirely new. Connor didn’t like it one bit. 

C: ‘Mr. Kamski, this is Connor, the RK800. I was wondering if you had time to talk?’

K: ‘Hello Connor, what can I help you with?’

C: ‘Could we meet up somewhere? I need to ask you some questions about my function.’ 

The response was almost enough to put knots in Connor’s stomach. He read the message once, twice and then two more times. Each time feeling more and more uneasy. This was the guy that had planted the deviancy in androids, to begin with. How could he even think about asking Kamski for advice? 

K: ‘I’d be happy to help in whatever way. Would you like to meet at my home? I believe you know the address. Just knock and Chloe will let you in.’ 

Just knock. On the maker of all android’s door. Step into their makers home, the one responsible for so many deaths. For a second, Connor regretted asking Kamski for help. If it wasn’t for these unsettling feelings he’d been experiencing, he wouldn’t have asked. 

Sighing deeply, something he’d learned from Hank, Connor sent for transport before sending his next reply. 

C: ‘Thank you. I will be there in 35 minutes and 16 seconds.’

K: ‘Alright.’ 

Standing up from the couch in his room, Connor went over to the long mirror on the door. He looked as pristine and presentable as always, but he couldn’t help the nervous tick that made him straighten his thigh once more. 

Walking out of his room, Connor walked down the hallway that leads to the living room. He could already see Hank’s long body on the couch, the TV playing in the background. 

He was about to open his mouth to say that he was going out, but as his lips parted, he thought better of it and just turned to leave. He heard Hank’s soft, questioning ‘Connor?’ but he closed the door. 

The odd feeling was back in his chest again. Rubbing the spot over his Thirium pump, Connor walked over to the car that he sent for. Stepping in, he fought tooth and nail not to turn back to see if Hank stood in the doorway or window. 

He needed answers and he needed them fast. This had all started before the revolution ended. It had been small fluttering sensations at the beginning. Flushing of his cheeks and ears, his Thirium pumping abnormally fast and the occasional stumbling of words. 

But that feeling had been pleasant, although confusing in the beginning. When the RK800 had held Hank at gunpoint, he’d felt fear like never before. Not for his own life, but for Hank’s. He’d been truly scared for the first time in his life. 

When the revolution ended, when Markus stood victorious on the small podium, Connor had felt pride. He was so proud of what his friend had accomplished. But it wasn’t until he met Hank by the Chicken Feed, that he knew this feeling to be love. 

Hank had pulled him into a tight hug and Connor had burrowed his face into Hank’s neck as he was held close to that irresistible heat. They stood like that for half an hour, just holding each other, breathing in the relief that the other still lived. 

It had all gone downhill from there though. He’d moved into an apartment closer to the DPD, but in the week he lived there, he’d had two break-ins. Every day after work, he’d come home to a new word tagged on his front door. 

In the end, Hank had ordered him to come live with him and Sumo. It was the safest Connor had ever felt. That first night in his own bed, in a home he felt protected in, he’d shut down into recharge for the first time since the revolution started. 

Living with Hank would prove difficult though. Connor tried his best to be helpful, to do his part since he was allowed to stay with Hank and Sumo. The first week had been a dream, but after their movie night, where Hank fell asleep, he had begun to pull away from Connor. 

It had been the best night in Connor’s existence. As Hank fell deeper and deeper into sleep, he’d slide further and further onto Connor. His head rested against Connor’s shoulder for an hour, then Hank had decided that laying down would be in his back’s best interest. He’d somehow wrestled Connor down with him as he went to stretch out on the soft couch, a heavy arm securing Connor to his big barrel chest. 

They lay like that for hours on end, but when Hank woke up, he acted disgusted. Like Connor had somehow done something to displease him. He pulled away, throwing a lazy ‘Sorry bout that’ over his shoulder as he went to relieve himself in the bathroom. Their relationship had never been the same again.

It had been four months since that day. Connor didn’t know if he could take the strain anymore. He knew that Hank had never had a relationship with another man before, but somehow, Connor felt that being a man had nothing to do with the situation. 

He’d researched the symptoms of his body and was almost certain that what he felt was heartache. Unrequited love could hurt the internet informed him. He’d read stories and entries of other people’s experience with heartache and they came close to what he felt. 

The only solution to the problem had been to move one, though that wasn’t something Connor wanted to do. He liked working with Hank, liked the people at DPD, even Detective Reed had become somewhat of a friend after Nines beat him into submission. He needed to know if there was another way to eliminate this feeling inside of him. 

Which reminded him, lately whenever he thought about this and what to do, he’d experienced some disturbance in his sight. His eyes would somehow blur over and start to leak Thirium. He’d seen this happen with the blue-haired Tracy all those months ago, but he wasn’t sure what it was. 

His transportation stopped outside of Kamski’s house, the snow bathing the big house in a pristine blanket of glittering white. It was truly beautiful. Stepping outside, he registered the cold of the wind. It was starting to get dark, the sun, a small shimmering light in the distance. 

Knocking on the door, Chloe showed him the way inside, just like the last time he’d been here. He’d had Hank by his side though. Now, he was on his own, without any support, without anyone to guide him, to believe in him. 

“Connor.” Kamski’s calculating voice echoed in the big room. 

“Hello Mr. Kamski.” Connor greeted politely. “Thank you for seeing me on such short notice. 

“Of course, it’s my pleasure.” Kamski continued. “Now what can I help you with?”

They walked across a long hallway leading into a living room. Like the other room, Connor had been in before, the wall was covered in a floor to ceiling window, overlooking Detroit City. It was truly breathtaking. 

“I believe I am experiencing some malfunction, Sir.” Connor started but was interrupted when Kamski raised a hand from the chair he just sat down in. 

“Please, call me Elijah.” He said as he waved his hand in the direction of the chair opposite him. 

“Elijah.” Connor tried the word on his lips and found that he liked the name better. It made the man across from him seem more human. 

“As I said, Elijah, I believe that I am experiencing some malfunction in response to a new feeling my systems has developed.” Conor explains as carefully as he can. 

“What kind of feeling, Connor?” Elijah asks. 

“Love.” Connor is almost afraid to say the word out loud. “I believe I have fallen in love, but the love is unrequited and a new feeling has become apparent.”

Elijah smiles, color rising to his cheeks, his heart skipping a beat. Connor doesn’t understand the reaction to his symptoms. 

“Well I say...” Elijah starts, “You’re the second deviant I know to have developed these feelings. I believe that the other thing you’re feeling is heartache, Connor. It is a reactio..-”

“I know what it is, but how do I get rid of it?” Connor bites out rudely. 

“I apologize, Elijah. That was rude of me.” He sighs in defeat, putting his elbows on his knees as he buries his face in his hands. 

“Don’t apologize, Connor. I sometimes forget that you’re able to research your feelings by yourself. I’m afraid there is no cure for heartache though.” Elijah’s voice has a sad ring to it. 

“No cure.” Connor repeat. 

He can feel the Thirium running down his cheeks before it registers in his mind. His Thirium pump ceases painfully, making him clutch his chest to relieve the pain there. 

“I believe this malfunction you’re talking about is what’s happening now.” Elijah continues.  
Connor just nods, unable to look up.

“It’s called tears. Tears are a normal reaction to something that is painful, tiresome, infuriating, sad, happy or frustrating. In humans, it produces salty water, but in androids, it produces the equivalent, Thirium tears.” The explanation makes sense, and as Elijah continue to explain why this is happening, Connor does a quick research on tears. 

“So the only option I have is to move on? To move away from him?” Connor asks, finally daring to look up at Elijah. 

“You could always just try to confess to Hank.” He replies smugly, the grin crossing his lips, unsettling. 

But before Connor can reply to Elijah’s guessing, a big crash echo through the house. The ground shakes as alarms wail throughout the entire home. Chloe comes dashing through the door in a hurry, and right behind her, Hank. 

“You stay away from him, you cunning little shit.” Hank spits, fury dripping from every word, as he holds his revolver raised towards Elijah Kamski. 

Connor shoot up from his chair to stand in front of Chloe and Elijah, but before he gets that far, Hank has grabbed him and pushed him behind his back. Bewildered, his brows dip down into a confused frown. 

“Lieutenant, please lower your gun.” Connor tried softly. 

“The hell I will, Connor. He’s not getting ya.” Hank barks out. 

“Listen, I was a fool to push you away. I shouldn’t have done that to you. You’ve done nothing wrong, but I still let my stupid insecurities take the wheel, and look where that took us.” Hank talk so fast, Connor almost struggle to keep up with the words. 

“I fell hard for you Connor and got afraid. But I don’t want to lose you. You’re the sunshine to my cold, dark life, and... Fuck, this is all wrong.” He sighs, arms falling to his sides as he turns to look at Connor. 

“I’m not good with words Connor. But what you’ve given me, what you’ve meant for me and Sumo...Well, I wanna give that back to you, no matter what it takes. I wanna show you that you matter. That you...Fuck. Am I even making sense?” Hank look so frustrated and surprisingly small where he stands in front of Connor. 

But the only thing Connor can concentrate on is that one sentence. ‘I fell hard for you, Connor.’

“Did you really fall for me?” Leave his lips like a knee-jerk reaction. 

“Eeeh... Well, the thing is... Fuck, Connor.” Hank stutter, his free hand coming up to grip his neck. 

“I fell in love with you a while ago, but I understand that you’re not interested. Hell, I don’t even know if you like men or women.” Hank continues. 

“Or old fat alcoholics, for that matter.” The last words are mumbled as an afterthought, not meant for anyone's ears.

But Connor hears it. Hear the insecurity, the doubt that has coiled its thorny tail around Hank, keeping him a prisoner in his own fear and self-loathing. Stepping forward, Connor leans his forehead to Hank’s, the skin to skin contact sends electric shocks down Connor’s entire body. 

His Thirium pump is almost out of control, but he shoves those warnings to the side. After all, he has more important things to address. Leaning back again, Connor lifts Hank’s chin, his fingers disappearing into Hank’s still unruly beard. When they were eye to eye, Connor smiled carefully. 

“You are not worthless, Hank. In fact, you are everything I could ever dream of in a partner. You may not be perfect all the time, but you’re full of the will to do better.” Connor can’t help the tear that rolls down his left cheek.

His stomach is filled with knots of nerves as he waits for Hank’s reply. It seems like an eternity before Hank furrow his brows in confusion. 

“You and your fancy, smancy words. Did that mean you feel the same or not?” Hank asks, slightly annoyed. 

Instead of replying, Connor lean forward to kiss Hank for the very first time. The sensation as his lips meet Hank’s, is indescribable to him. Hank’s slightly chapped lips are full and soft, despite the dryness of them. The unruly bears chaff against Connor’s clean-shaven face, indicating that long exposure to kissing would make his skin raw. 

As they break apart, consumed by each other’s presence, they almost miss Elijah’s clapping. Looking over at him, Connor blushes furiously in embarrassment. Hank mostly look annoyed for being interrupted, but the slight dusting of pink across his cheeks, tell another tale. 

“As pleasant as meeting you always is Lieutenant Anderson, I just wonder who’s going to fix my wall?” Elijah comments dryly. 

“Yeah uh... Sorry about that.” Hank sputters, looking more embarrassed by the second. “When I heard Connor was heading to your house, I kinda feared for his life.” 

“Who told you I was going here?” Connor asked confused. He hadn’t told anyone. 

“I sort of called the android transportation company. They gave me the address they dropped you off on.” Hank looked small and sheepish where he stood. 

“That does not explain why you felt the need to crash your car into my house.” Elijah commented and if possible Hank looked even smaller. 

By the time they towed Hank’s car home, they were both exhausted. Elijah had been kind and offered to let the incident drop, even paying for his own repairs. He’d demanded an invitation to their wedding in return, which makes both Hank and Connor choke on their own spit. 

The drive home had been just as silent as the drive home earlier that day. There were too many thoughts running through both their heads, but halfway through, Hank had hooked his little finger to Connor’s and held onto it until they arrived home. 

Nines were going to pick them up for work in the morning, seeing as Hank had totaled his beloved car. He swore to rebuild it, but Connor doubted there even existed parts to do the repairs anymore. 

Once home, Hank walked Sumo as Connor prepared something light to eat before bed. It had been a long day, so an omelet sounded good to Connor’s ears, and as Hank scraped the last scraps from his plate, he was proven right. 

When they were both ready for bed, Connor's nerves bubbled up to the surface once again. He wanted to sleep in Hank’s bed, with him and with Sumo, but he couldn’t find the words to ask Hank. 

Hank gave him a kiss on the forehead and a ‘goodnight Connor’ as he and Sumo disappeared into Hank’s bedroom. Connor was left alone in the dimly lit hallway, unable to find the words he needed. 

He’d thought that everything would be so much easier once everything was out in the open, but apparently, habits were hard to break. Standing in front of Hank’s bedroom door, Connor was surprised when it flew open, followed by the force of Hank’s big body. 

Before he could fall through, Hank’s strong arms wrapped around him to hold him steady. He was pulled into Hank’s big barrel chest, followed by his face as it dug itself deep into the crook of Connor’s shoulder. 

“I’m sorry Connor. Getting used to this is hard. I want you to sleep with me. Not with me - with me, but with me. If you want, I mean.” Hank stumbled with the words, still proving difficult assemble.

“I’d love that, Hank.” Connor smiled into Hank’s neck. 

Laying in Hank’s bed was even better than having his very own. Hank was warm and soft and strong, everything Connor had dreamt of for the last few months. He loved being pressed against Hank’s chest, listening to the strong and steady heartbeat as the older man slept. 

Being able to watch Hank sleep was almost better, but those moments where Hank woke up briefly, were the best. Sleepy and warm, he’d kiss Connor without thought, without fear, and Connor loved it. 

When they woke up the morning after, Hank didn’t run away. The blue eyes looked at Connor with an extra shine to them, before he pulled Connor in closer and kissed his forehead. 

“I love you, Connor.” Hank whispered, his heartbeat steady and firm. 

“I love you too.” Connor smiled as Hank leaned into a kiss that would take them further than before. 

In Hank’s arms, Connor was the happiest he’d ever been. 

~ End

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this :-)


End file.
